by One day, in New York City, a concerned son had not heard from his elderly father in several days. He was not answering the phone, and he was not answering the door bell. So, the son called the cops.
The cops who responded to the job wanted to gain entry to the house. This way they could verify that either the man was not there, or perhaps in need of medical assistance, or a dozen other reasons that would explain why he wasn’t answering the door. They tried to open the front door, but it was bolted shut. Then they tried to open the windows, but they couldn’t, because all the windows in the front and back of the house were locked and painted shut. The cops tried to open the back door, but they couldn’t, because the back door was also locked and painted shut. Plus, the son said, there was a heavy generator pinned against the back door.
So, the cops went back to the front door and decided to use a halogen tool to pry the door open. When the door was pried open there was a chain blocking the door, and bolt-cutters were used to cut it off. Finally, the cops entered the house. They went from room to room looking for the old man. In the bedroom, they found him dead in his bed. He had been stabbed numerous times—the victim of a homicide.
A few days later, the detective who was investigating the murder, spoke to the cops who had broken into the house. “I don’t get it,” said the detective, scratching his head. “How did the murderer get out of the house?”
The detective went over the crime scene with a fine tooth comb—and, besides the fact that the back door and all the windows were painted shut, & that the chain was on the door—there was no basement, no secret tunnels, no break in the walls, floors, ceilings, etc. So, how did the perpetrator exit the house?
“Are you sure the chain was on the door?” asked the detective.
“Yup,” the cops said. “We had to cut it off.”
Well, I think I have a theory: the man stabbed himself to death. What? You say. Well, listen to this: I handled a job where a woman had committed suicide. She grabbed a butcher knife from the kitchen, went down to the basement, and laid down on the bed. But instead of slitting her wrists, she wanted to slit her jugular vein, a major artery in the neck. The woman took the knife and hacked away at her neck and throat. She hacked! Hacked! Hacked!
When I went down to the basement to look at the body, I found her laying peacefully on the bed with her hands folded across her chest. The butcher knife was laying next to her side. Her throat was sliced wide open, and the only thing keeping her head attached to her body was her spinal cord, still intact. In spite of the massive wound, there was no blood.
The medic, who was in the room with me, said, “She got everything but the jugular vein”. And then he pointed out the artery to me, a long white fleshy “cord” running along the left side of her neck.
So, if it’s possible for someone to chop their own head off, why not stab yourself to death?
(Concerning the story of the stabbed man in the bed, I just thought of something: the storyteller never mentioned to me if the “murder” weapon was, or was not, at the scene. If the knife was gone, then maybe I should make this a paranormal story)