by 
I thought I’d put my 2 cents in on the opening ceremony of the London Olympics. Well, being of British descent myself, I have to say I was very disappointed with Danny Boyle’s concept of British culture. The ceremony opens with this Hobbit-looking country-scene of milk-maids and peasants, and then suddenly it’s immediately replaced with this hideous display of smoke stacks, sweaty men slaving under grinding wheels and furnaces, while elite gentlemen strut about in top hats & bowlers proud of turning England into a pit of black soot, child labor, and debtor’s prison. Of course, me English mum defends this scene by saying Britain’s Industrial Revolution brought us into the modern times. Yeah, mom, pollution is something to be proud of. As a matter of fact, the pollution was so bad in the Midlands from coal mines and steel mills the area was called the “Black Country.” I wonder what Charles Dickens would have to say about his 19th century Industrial Age? Then you had actor Kenneth Branagh dressed up as Isambard Kingdom Brunel, but he looked more like a stunted Abe Lincoln. And, let me not forget the stinking smoke of sulfur engulfing the stadium. What the hell was Boyle thinking? A descent into hell?
Next, the scene switches to dozens of nurses and hospital beds filled with children. What da’heck was that all about? When you think of England do you think of sick children? I hope not. And, if there wasn’t a narrator I wouldn’t know what was going on. Now, the children are tucked into their beds and are awaken by images of a nightmare. Oh, what a lovely idea (snark). The only saving grace of that episode was watching dozens of Mary Poppins descending from the sky.
Next is a confusing scene starring two teen actors from some obscure TV show that nobody except Brits would even know about —I believe the narrator said it had something to do with the internet and texting on iphones, like that has anything to do with the UK. Supposedly, Boyle was trying to show British pop music from the 60s 70s 80s etc., but I didn’t get it. The Brits were best known for the British Invasion of the 60s with the arrival of the Beatles, Rolling Stones, & the Yardbirds, etc., and in fashion it was the mini-skirts, Carnaby Street, and the Mod Look of Vidal Sassoon, Twiggy, Jean Shrimpton, and also films starring Julie Christie, Michael Caine, and anyone in the Lyngrave clan. Anything that came after these folks is just residue.
If I could suggest how to do the Opening Ceremony, I’d have done a more up-lifting pageantry. Perhaps I’d start with Stonehenge. Can you imagine what you could do with an ancient artifact like that? Dancing naked pagans, a light show with the sun aligning between the monuments! How about King Arthur and his knights? Avalon? And, if they want magic & wizards, instead of Harry Potter demons, lets have Merlin & Morgan la Frey materialize in a hologram. There could be a dramatic moment where Excalibur is pulled from a stone. Or, we could have Knights jostling, or riding on horses draped in elaborate armor…the costume design would be marvelous. What about Henry the 8th and all his wives…followed by an executioner with an axe? (I’m joking, that might be too snarky). How about Monty Python? Boadicea fighting the Roman invaders? Or, all the great British literature like Peter Pan & Wendy? We could have them fly through the stadium, or Alice in Wonderland (instead of all those stupid puppets lets turn the stage into a Wonderland, or a Neverland). Or, Charles Dickens, or HG Wells? (I’m surprised Boyle didn’t do an alien invasion scene, or the Black Plague). There is so much in British history Boyle could have chosen from that the rest of the world would immediately recognize. But, no, his interpretation of Britain are these dark obscure references that must only mean something to him.
I’ll end on a positive note: The lighting of the Olympic Torch was impressive, except for one major flaw. The cauldron was lit in the pit of the stadium; its supposed to be up high where it can be seen outside from afar. Didn’t Boyle consult with anyone? The music was nice; I did like the Blue Man-like drumming from the deaf composer Lloyd Coleman. Oh yes, & the fireworks were pretty.